Forgiving is not the same thing as excusing. Forgiveness is what is required precisely when there is no good rationale to explain away why someone did what they did. When an action is excusable, it doesn’t require forgiveness.

Forgiving is not forgetting. Forgiving is what’s required precisely when we can’t forget.

Forgiving is not the same thing as reconciling. Forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things. Forgiveness takes place within the heart of one human being. Reconciliation requires the rebuilding of trust, and that means good faith on the part of both parties.

Forgiveness begins when we give up the quest to get even. It usually doesn’t happen once-for-all. When you want good things for someone who hurt you badly, you can pretty much know that the Great Forgiver has been at work in your heart.